Swajan-Paran: An Ayushi

Right now at 2300 hours when most of my floormates are swimming in the divine world of dreams, an echo is arising inside my inner self in search of the Paran of beautiful dimensions of lyfe carried out by blessings of the Almighty. The most appealing thing here is probably the Paran! Let me first try to explore the same. Paran is a piece of music without which almost every rhyme is incomplete. This sense of 'unfilled' and 'desired' excites & stimulates the 'Swayam' i.e. the inner self constantly in a continuous fashion to fill that vacant and explores the surroundings to go towards self-actualization. This internal 'Gunjan', this echo makes us feel and behave as humans and not as machines. And what to say of if it becomes gifted and blessed by Deity! Here comes the sparkling aroma of the 'Ayushi', the blessings.

But the million dollar question that is now shooting up its head in my mind is What is my Paran?

For that I have to unwind the inner dimensions of my soul. Let me dive again right now!...

The very first thought that I am feeling inside is that I am still a kid at heart; and so being a kid my Paran should be something delicate having rejoicing characteristics like pureness, innocence, beauty, sweetness of nature and gentleness. What a delightful feeling!Isn't it? Its something like a baby who wants to have a 'gudia' who he considers to be the most imperative in his lyfe. Though that 'gudia' is completely unaware of his feelings but still the kid falls in love with her. Why it happens? Why the kid makes her his God and his Life even if no emotions are being shown by her? Probably because to love is to risk of not being loved in return, to hope is to risk pain, to try is to risk failure, but still the risk must be taken, as, the greatest hazard in lyfe is to risk nothing! Surprisingly, knowingly or unknowingly the kid is aware of this feeling deep inside his heart in different dimensions and so he continues to keep the loving waves flowing out of his heart with no desire of getting anything in return.

Now after knowing about my Paran, the next most appealing thing is Whether I am still required to find my 'gudia' or I am already blessed with one! Well initially seems to be a very difficult question, but when I quickly scan it appears as if I am lucky enough for being already blessed. Touch-wood! Why I am saying this? Is there anything unique with my 'gudia'? Of course Yes! She is the joy of my heart and peace of my soul. She is the sun that chases away my clouds, a bright star that guides me through my fears and uncertainties, a loving anchor in all storms of my lyfe, a comfort of my yesterdays, the magic of my today and the hope of all my tomorrows.

Trin-trin...Trin-trin...The clock arms is showing 2330 hours. Now is the time to put an end to this endless chain of thoughts. But I am delighted as I have identified my real 'Paran'. I just wish that 'gudia' of mine won't be lost and will remain with this kid forever! Amen! Towards the ending, a few words to say:

'I'd like to run away

From You,

But if you didn't come

And find me...

I would die.'